for so long it has lain empty
the space beside my bed
I would not know how to share it now
I would not know how to touch
be touched, the mechanics of a kiss
bewilder me, even my fantasies
would it be like this, or this
would our noses bump
would we laugh and try again
lips fitting like two bows
curve on curve? Continue reading
I want to know what I have meant
If I have meant anything to you
Beneath the lies you told us both
If there was anything true.
I’m no poet, just a heap
of soggy feelings, trying to rhyme
Lines that you will never read
Poetry’s just a waste of time. Continue reading
to hold back despair
is all you want
in this moment, it will be enough
to breathe above the black tide
breaking over the wall. Continue reading
A thin bar of soap from that hotel room
where we did not make love
did not smile, did not touch.
Six packets of sugar from a coffee shop
we looked past each other at silent screens
simulacrum of lives unfelt, unearned. Continue reading
You don’t write any more
Was it something I said, or did not say?
Gestures, perhaps, are not enough
Sometimes we need words to live by
Stories to save ourselves from drifting apart.
And because I am older than I thought I’d be
Does that mean I should cease to live, to want
Because I am a mother does that mean
I should not be a woman any more?
No, this is not what I meant to say
Not what I meant at all
Perhaps words too are not enough
Can you read my silence?
Will you come when I call?
I loathe Valentine’s Day. It reminds me of the things I don’t have. I don’t mean the cards and the roses – I can do without romantic gestures like that. I wouldn’t know what to do with them anyway, never having been at the receiving end of such. I mean the lack of a sane partner. Continue reading
I want you never to cry
the way I have cried.
I wish I could protect you
Make you realize
the world is not always nice.
but you are stronger than me
and one day you’ll leave my hand
run free, far ahead of me.
and I will watch you
the way we watch a rainbow in the sky.